Crazy weekend, not really. Crazy because I just plan to be amazing and end up not being amazing. I think to myself, "O.K. I want to do this and this and this". And actually, I don't do any of it. Sometimes, I feel I just must be lazy, and then sometimes I feel old. And my time just doesn't "spend" like I want it to. And then I think to the times when I did this and this and this...then I realize my mind wants me to do all of these things still, but...my body just doesn't. Very frustrating, being lazy and not accomplishing the things I want. I look back in years...twenty will do...(about where some of my children are now)... and think to myself...I remember when I could do that. Not necessarily a matter of wanting to do that, just that I could. And then, I think to my mother twenty years ago and her being frustrated because she was in the same boat I am in now. I feel I have more empathy. More understanding. More patience now... than I did then...
So, I guess it is O.K. feeling the way I do. Be thankful for what I have learned and learn to deal with where I am at... And don't give myself such a hard time about it. I will eventually get to "this and this and this" just probably not in the time frame I want.
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